i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
