You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
