Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
