Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize