so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
