and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have demons in me.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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