I wish you could order shots online.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize