I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
