absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
