question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
