He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
