i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
