there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he shaved USA in his pubs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
