Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
