my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
