wrigley field is MILF paradise
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
love makes seman taste better
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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