On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
