What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
