I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
