This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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