It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
