The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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