absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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