i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
17 year olds will be the death of me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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