I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
