I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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