you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
