mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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