you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
