It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
