Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
