Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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