I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize