he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
