I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
