She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
