question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
