i jhust puked up my retainher.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
