fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
