Yo dont text me then not text me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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