nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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