if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize