Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
