I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
