I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
