just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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