If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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