I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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