I want to make a zoo with you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
