I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
