even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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