You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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