Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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