I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
