Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
